Before I retired, I was the Clinical Supervisor for the Salvation Army Harbor Light Residential Substance Abuse Program. My responsibility was to oversee the day to day operations of the co-ed facility. Male and female clients were kept separated, as much as was possible. However, I spent quite a bit of my time, disciplining clients who were determined to “hook up.” These clients would scheme on ways to find a “nook” where they could act out sexually. Their peers were willing participants in helping them to achieve their ‘rendezvous’, such as distracting the staff so the couple could sneak away.
I would give weekly lectures to the population concerning the reasons why females and males were separated and explaining how these relationships were detrimental to their treatment. However, I continued to issue infractions and discharges for the fraternizations.
One day when I was giving this lecture again, regarding how these relationships distracted from their treatment, one of the clients yelled out, “You’re right about these T.C. (treatment center) hookups, cuz ‘two sickies don’t make a wellie.'
We all burst out into laughter. You know the kind of laughter that comes from something not being just funny, but painfully true. I took this opportunity to discuss how this was time for them to focus on ‘self’ to develop wholeness through sobriety. I shared how addiction is a disease and how if one partner is sick, the relationship will be unwell. I asked them to think about why two halves don’t make a whole in a union, and the reasons that it takes two healthy people to make a strong relationship; such as a marriage.
Then the same person again yelled out,” She’s right. Cuz looking for someone in here for a love is just like going to the hospital looking for a partner.”
Again, we all laughed again at what was just so true. The Rhema ( a-ha, catharsis, revelation) from this discussion was not just for the clients at the treatment center. We all have to be reminded that we must be whole to develop a relationship. We can grow, and encourage each other in a relationship, but we can’t complete that other person. If two people are unhealthy, or even one person is unhealthy; the relationship will fail. It will fail because ‘two sickies don’t make a wellie’.
And this is Truly Said™.
The Sword: "He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds." (Psalm 147:3)
The Application: You can't get healing from your sick partner. You both have to go to Jesus individually. Otherwise, you'll keep making each other sick.